And Now For Something Completely Different
I jest. It's the same old.
So took Kiki in to the ear, nose & throat specialist today. He examined her for all of 3 minutes (well, and studied her chart and all her hearing tests, so you know. I'm premenstrual and moody, which makes me all dramatic and grumpy.) before scheduling her for surgery.
I did not cry. There was this distinct burning sensation behind my eyes for a few minutes while I waited in the cashier line after the visit, but after about 30 seconds of waiting, I got so irritated that the burning simply went away.
I mean... okay, I knew it was going to come to this. And I also know that we are so incredibly lucky and so incredibly blessed that Kiki doesn't have any life-threatening health issues, like heart defects or weak lungs, and so I don't want to be all whiny about this, this very, very common procedure that so very many kids (not just T21 kids) end up having.
But on the other hand, anesthesia. Anesthesia. They are going to take my baby out of my arms, take her away from me into a sterile room, lay her on a table, drug her unconscious, and then cut into her. And then when they are done, they are going to take her to another sterile room for up to 4 hours, while they monitor her recovery from the anesthesia.
The reality of this, as you may note, is beginning to kind of sink in.
Worse yet, because her EN&T guy is at a different hospital than her eye doc, we may not be able to schedule both procedures for the same time. Anyway I'm calling her eye doc tomorrow. He may not even want to do the eye surgery as soon as the EN&T guy wants to do the tube surgery. The eye guy is very cautious. In fact, we're not even scheduled to see him again until August, when he'll see if the eyepatch 2hours a day has made enough of a difference that she may not even need eye surgery at all.
I feel like I'm juggling. One bout of anesthesia sounds INFINITELY better than two bouts of anesthesia, but having a surgery too soon or even a potentially unnecessary surgery sounds infinitely worse.
Four hours I will have to wait for my baby after surgery. I think they may have to sedate ME.
Okay, whining over.
Let the grumbling now begin.
I had surgery once. I had anesthesia. I don't remember the surgery (duh) but lord almighty I remember it taking 3 days to fully recover from the anesthesia. Okay, there was pain, too, but the anesthesia. And then every time I've taken a pet in to get fixed, they've always been pukey from the anesthesia. Note how I'm focussing on the nausea post-anesthesia and dutifully ignoring the whole anesthesia-can-kill-you-if-they-dose-you-wrong-or-you-choke-or-you-have-a-bad-reaction thing.
I know, I know. I'm a freaking drama queen.
I need a beer.
2 comments:
Honey, I can't imagine how freaked you are (OK, I can *imagine* it, but it probably doesn't hold a candle to the reality), and I'm not going to try to tell you "it'll be OK" or "she'll be fine" or any of the placating crap. You're scared and as a mom that makes perfect sense. Know that statistically the possibility of problems is extremely low - and worry anyway. That's our job as Moms.
We'll be keeping you all in our thoughts (as if I'm not thinking of y'all all the time anyway!) Hugs and hugs and hugs to you.
thanks for your comment on my blog! Your daughter is adorable! I'm sorry to hear she'll need tubes - I remember all too well how I felt the first time I was told Kayla needed tubes too - the same way! I had tears in my eyes, I was scared and nervous - even though I knew this was a "routine, simple, 10 min" procedure. I didn't want her to go through it. Then I felt bad for feeling bad when other kids were going through open heart surgery, and I realized how lucky we were in that aspect too. But like others told me, it's still your child, your child having surgery, so you have every right to feel that way. I still felt that way when I was told a few months ago that she would need her 4th set of tubes! Ugh! (Just got those in Feb).
I don't think we've ever had to wait 4 hrs though; although I guess each child is different in how they come out of it, it usually doesn't take Kayla too long to come out of it - she's grumpy at first, but before long she's back to her old self.
Post a Comment