Friday, May 23, 2008

Dog Dreams

We have two dogs, both of whom sleep in the same room with us at night, but in their own beds. Kipp would prefer if at least HIS dog got to sleep on our bed with us, but let's be practical. Kipp and I fight for bed real estate throughout the night. Add a dog or two? I like to sleep at night when I go to bed. Call me old-fashioned.

Anyway, somewhere in the netherworld between daydreaming and actual dreaming last night, I had this dream/fantasy/whatever where someone was threatening us harm in some fashion or another, and I blurted out, "Oh yeah? Well, if anything happens to either one of us, our dogs will FIND you and exact VENGEANCE."

This is hilarious enough as it stands because we have one dog whose idea of threatening actions is to whimper, crouch, and pee uncontrollably; and the other dog would only attack a person if they were dressed as a window, bridge, stepping stool, or -- we suspect -- a clown.

So the sheer absurdity of the statement made me chuckle myself awake, whereupon I could hear one of the dogs making noises that indicated she was having a very intense dream.

I immediately felt horrible and responsible, like my own bad dream mojo had invaded her head space and influenced her to dream badly. I tried to shift over into happy thoughts, trying to send happy dog dreams her way, and then I thought, "What exactly does a happy dog dream entail, anyway?"

I mean a typical day for the poor uncontrollable pee-er that was dreaming is a combination of being mauled by the other dog and being mauled by the baby. On occasion she gets a quiet moment, curled up as close to me as possible, until a dog or baby pounces on her or I push her away because I'm getting up.

I imagine bliss for this dog would be dreaming that the other dog and the baby are caged up, and she's on the outside, laughing at them while she has full access to all the food and Mom she wants.

I fell asleep before that dawned on me though. Poor thing.


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