You've got some 'splaining to do!

I'm obviously trying to get my husband to divorce me.

First, I make his dog run away. But she came back, so I had to think bigger (like Pinky Dinky Doo and omg I watch too much Noggin.)

So today, I did this.


No, I didn't take her to Cookie Cutters. Dude, we're talking a 30 minute drive into town for a $16.95 haircut? When I can go around the corner and traumatize a perfectly nice stylist for only $5? Please.

Kiki? Was not obedient. She squirmed. She fussed. She cried. This was the best the woman could do.

I told her from the beginning, I just want something lower maintenance. I know it will have to be a comb-over, but I'd like the top cut so that it falls to above her eyebrow in a bang. I want the back shortened so I'm not spending so much time combing out snags.


She asked, "Oh, does she have cancer?" She said it in a very concerned, caring way, which reminded me just how freaking shallow I'm being about all this. Honestly, it could be something terrifying, like cancer. We're lucky it's not, so I need to let. It. Go.

I explained to her about alopecia, and the celiac disease, and all that, while she focused mainly on trying not to accidently cut my daughter. I could tell she was really frazzled and concentrating on Kiki instead of me, because I think she asked me like 20 times how old Kiki is. She followed us out to the car afterwards, too, telling me how cute Kiki is, and asking again what alopecia is, and how old she is. I think she just wanted a return customer 'cause I kind of tipped her big. I mean honestly -- it wasn't a cakewalk, and the cut was only $5. I felt sorry for her.

And now we wait for Daddy's reaction....