Introduction

Well, it's been a while since I've had a blog. I used to love blogging, and a lot of times, I do miss it. I have a couple of long-distance friends who keep blogs, and it's a very good way to keep tabs on 'em. You know, maybe they want to keep tabs on me, too. It could happen.

I considered making this a private blog, and give the address only to friends and family. I've reconsidered that. Thing is, the stuff I'm obsessing about these days is -- well, I'm not sure universal is the right word, but I think it's applicable to a large group of people. And though my inclination is to feel intensely private about it, it's not doing me any good to be that way. My urge to be private about it stems directly from being ashamed of the things I think and feel these days. And the fact is -- maybe there are other people going through the same thing who feel the same way. And if they see me exorcising my demons publicly, maybe they won't feel so badly about themselves.

Yeah, I'm such a noble do-gooder.

So I will be unabashedly public. Be warned.

A little about myself, I guess, to get started. I'm 40 years old. I live in the midwest. I moved out here in 2005. Before that, I lived my entire life on the west coast. I met my husband, Kipp, on an online game. I moved to the midwest to marry him. I have two stepchildren; a girl who I will refer to as B, and a boy I'll refer to as C. They're the only ones I'll be careful about writing about, being as I'm only their stepmom, not their mom.

Kipp and I have two dogs, a corgi mix named Honey and a blue heeler mix named Sugar. And as of April 2007, we have a daughter whom we call Kiki. As Kiki is my obsession these days, be prepared that most of what I write will concern her.

Kiki has Down Syndrome. If I didn't tell you this when you first meet her, you might not even notice. I know this only because people who didn't know, didn't guess until they were told. I don't bring it up anymore. I actually stopped informing people sometime during my pregnancy.

For those of you who know little or nothing about Downs, or are new to being a parent of a Downs child, you and I are in the same boat. I'm still learning, every day. I search for articles, forums, help groups, and all that on the net all the time. I'll share what I learn here; and I would love it if you shared with me, as well.

Also, if you're a new mother, well -- we're also in the same boat. A new baby is a new baby is a new baby. All the adjustments, yeesh. We're blessed, of course, because Kiki is a perfect baby, but we still have a few new parent bumps. Well, at least I do. Kipp's done this twice before, and he revels in my new-parent jitters. Like how I'm constantly taking her temperature or dipping my head into her bassinet to make sure she's still breathing. He gets endless amusement out of that.

I'm going to end the first entry here. Work beckons, and I have to get done what I can while Kiki sleeps.